Mark Reynolds Hughes

Today at The Death Pool we would like to welcome Mark Reynolds Hughes.  The founder of Herbalife who died at the age of 44!

TDP: Mr. Hughes welcome to The Death Pool.

MRH: Thank you.

TDP: First off Heaven, Hell or purgatory?

MRH: Sad to say I am in hell.

TDP: Oh baby that's rough. How come?

MRH: Seems the old man doesn't have to much of an appetite for successful capitalists.  I'm surprised to see some of my other counterparts down here.

TDP: Like who?

MRH: Well, we've got The Colonel.

TDP: Klink?

MRH: No idiot...... Sanders. Seems the whole chicken in a test tube story is true.  

TDP: No shit.  So tell us what happened. I mean you have to admit it's kind of funny that you kicked it at the ripe age of 44.

MRH:  Yeah, a real laugh riot.  But it's my own fault.

TDP: How so?

MRH: Well I figured that I would start a new line after the success of my herbs.   I mean what's the next logical step?

TDP: Chutney?

MRH: You really are an idiot aren't you? No, minerals.  I figured that we had vitamins and so we'd go on to minerals next and where do you get a great source of minerals?

TDP:  Captain Crunch.  I mean those crunchberries have to be packed with something you know.

MRH: I'll just pretend I didn't hear that.  If you're gonna get minerals you gotta go to the source baby.  Whole metals.

TDP: Oh no.

MRH: Oh yes.  I started doing a little smelting around the mansion.  I was melting down little shit at first, a penny or a dime.  Then I moved on to the cutlery.

TDP:  Not the cutlery.  You ingested this hot metal?

MRH:  Sure.  It was like drinking an Alka Seltzer or something.  So I start melting down forks and knives and then I see the granddaddy of knives.

TDP: Not the Ginsu.

MRH: How'd you know?  Yeah, the Ginsu. So I'm stirring up the Ginsu and I started to acquire a taste for the stuff.  I'm standing over the pot slobbering like a baby.  She was just melted enough and I took a deep swallow.  I never knew a knife could taste that good. It was juicy yet subtle.  A couple minutes later I feel a slight twinge.

TDP: I knew it. Ginsu's not a metal is it?

MRH: You got it. I don't know what this thing is made of but I run to the shitter and I've got whole organs shooting out of my ass.  I look down to see my liver floating around and BAM here I am.

TDP:  Rough scene dude.  Any plans for the future?

MRH: There's a lot of open flames down here and I've still got the taste for spoons so I may be busy for a while.

TDP: Well thanks Mark. One question, why did you kill Lennon?  I mean that shit is just plain uncool.

MRH: That was Mark David Chapman, idiot.

TDP:  Oops.

MRH:  Keep it real!