Justin Wilson

   Today at The Death Pool we would like to welcome chef extraordinaire, Justin Wilson.

TDP:  Justin,  welcome to The Death Pool.

JW:  Oh thank you very .........   hold on there son.

TDP:  What seems to be the problem?

JW:  Well, if you're going to conduct an interview with me I must insist that you type exactly as I speak.  So if I say,  "look here son I certainly do love Cajun food".  How are you going to type that?

TDP:  I think I've got it.  How does this look?

JW:  Aw son I really do loves me some of dat Cajun cookin!

TDP:  How's that?

JW:  I garoontee dat be some fine writin.

TDP:  A man after my own heart.  Finally someone with the integrity to say it as he speaks it.

JW:  I have no idea what you done just said, but I think I must be liken it.

TDP:  So Justin, are you in Heaven or Hell?

JW:  Aw son, I'm in the holiest of holys.  Me an duh big Poppa have been gettin along perfectly good.  I have started makin him some dishes and he done agreed to let me stay as long as I keep the plates comin.

TDP:  That's mighty kind of him.  Is that a dish I see you preparing there?

JW:  You knows it.  I like to call dis one "Afterlife Stew".

TDP:  Looks delicious.  Are you gonna let us in on what's a brewing.

JW:  You know what I dun gonna say.  Let the good times roll.  We like to start with a big simmer pot.  You gonna hafta done notice that in Heaven we don't have all da fixins and supplies dat we haft there on earth.

TDP:  That does look like a peculiar stew pot.  What is it?

JW:  Dis would be Idi Amins skull.

TDP:  Whoa,  that thing is huge.

JW:  It sure is, but I got a feelin dat it won't be missed.  So let's roll.  We like to start with a roux.  we hafta mix about 6 cups of the holy water with the ground up powder of bone.....

TDP:  Hold on now Justin.  Did you say bone?

JW:  Dat be right, son.  Look I don't have the fixins dat I used to haft on Earth so I hafta make do with what we have plenty of.

TDP:  Gotcha,  continue.

JW:  Ok,  so we get this goin to a boil and then let it roll on wit the low heat.  Now with da "Afterlife Stew" I gotta find some vegetabels to done throw in there.  So I'm gonna get a couple of those folks that ain't got no sense no more.

TDP:  What do you mean?

JW:  You know,  vegetabels.....  Let's see,  you got some coma folks and some football players and professional wrestler, shitty musicians, bad porno actors, gameshow hosts.  You know,  people wit no sense no more.

TDP:  Got it.  Oh man that's starting to look tasty.  Hey what do you have there?

JW:   Well I done need to add something to heat this dish up.  So I got a toe.

TDP:  A toe?

JW:  This aint just a toe, dis be Hitlers big toe.  This thing is so damn hot I only have to slice off a little bit there and throws it in.  Aw son dis is smellin mighty good, I garoontee.  Next we need to add a little sweetness to da pot.

TDP:  Is that hair?

JW:  That's right son.  I got a couple of dem lower region hairs off of Princess Di.  Dat woman is so sweet and I believe dat is the sweetest of regions if you knows what I meant.

TDP:  Rock on with your Cajun self.

JW:  Now we gonna throw in a rabbit.

TDP:  Wait a minute.  You can't get spices but you can get a bunny?

JW:  I know I don't quite get it my own self but da Big Poppa is a bit pissed off at the whole Easter bunny thing I guess.  So he comes up to me all sweaty and lookin like he done fought an alligator and hands me thirty or so rabbit carcasses and screams somethin about him nailing his son to a cross and you folks on Earth color eggs.  He just looked real confused and then went runnin off to a corner by himself.

TDP:  Is he gonna be ok?

JW:  After he gets a hit of this stew he'll be good as a possum humpin a small cedar.

TDP:  Let's roll.

JW:  So we're gonna plop that bunny in there with Hitlers to shavings and Di's hair and we need a little tang to add to da pot. So I gots Jimmi Hendrix to loan me an adrenal gland.  

TDP:  An adrenal gland?

JW:  Aw son,  that gland has got so many different concoctions of de weed and LSD in it that after a bowl or two of dis stew we'll all be feelin no pain.  Now you know Big Poppa is big on his wine.  so we'll throw in a bottle of da red and a bottle of da white in there and let her simmer for ten minutes or so.

TDP;  You folks are gonna be rocked off of this stew.

JW:  Dat's the idea.  I wisht I could have sent some to you to sample but we're gonna garnish this stew with some dread locks off of Bob Marley and serve it up. Aw son this stew will make your belly sing and your balls happy.

TDP:  Damn, that kind of looks tasty.  Well Justin it looks as though you've settled in nicely.

JW:  I could only be happier if you done sent me a couple of dem boy bands to throw in da pot.

TDP:  We'll work on it.