Joey Ramone & Kurt Cobain

Today at The Death Pool we are very fortunate to speak with two of the greatest musicians of our time.  We would like to welcome Joey Ramone and our guest host and sidekick Kurt Cobain.

TDP: Joey welcome to The Death Pool.

JR:  Yeah, thanks a lot.  I've been reading your crap for a while and couldn't wait to be on and then I heard that Kurt was going to be along and I was hooked, baby.

KC:  Joey it's so good to have a fellow punk aficionado up here with me.  I was getting sick of listening to Mel Torme croon all fucking night.

TDP:  Well I guess we should ask where you two are?

JR:  Oh we're in Heaven, baby.

TDP:  Really, that's kind of a surprise.

KC:  No crap.  It seems the Big Man loves good music.  He's got Jimi Hendrix, John Lennon, Charlie Parker and a lot of other cool cats hanging out in his basement jammin all the time.

TDP;  No shit,  I might have to turn to religion after all.

JR:  Don't go overboard dude.

TDP:  Now Kurt our first question goes to you being that you have been away the longest.  You were going out with Courtney Love for a while weren't you?

KC:  We were married.

TDP:  Righteous dude.  So tell us...........did you do her?

KC:  We had a child.....

TDP:  Don't skirt the issues here, man.  This isn't fucking Rolling Stone that you can push around.  Just tell us if you did her or not.

KC:  O.K.  I did her.

TDP:  No shit!  Right on.  So did you have to listen to her whine afterward or did you just kick her to the curb?

KC:  We fucking lived together!  We were married!  We had a child!

TDP:  So that would be a no?

KC:  I thought we were going to interview Joey?

TDP:  Just like you rock and rollers, always business.   O.k. you fire away with the........... oh, shit I'm sorry man I didn't mean it that way.

KC:  It's all right, I'm over it now.  So Joey  how did you handle the pressure of always being in the spotlight?

JR:  ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

TDP:  Joey!!!!  Joey!!!!!! Joey!!!!!  He must still have some of those downers in his system.  Any ideas Kurt.

KC:  I got it.......1 2 3 4 ..

JR:  (Singing)  Now I wanna sniff some glue,  Now I wanna have something to do.......Oh man did I nod off?

KC:  It's cool, man we'll have plenty of time to nap up here.  I'll ask my question again.  How did you handle the pressure of always being in the spotlight?

JR:  Well I wore my sunglasses most of the time and I had a third of the blood sucked out of my body once a month.

TDP:  HOLD ON.  WAIT A MINUTE.  You had a third of your blood sucked out once a month.  Now would that be manually?  I mean did you get a brawd to suck .....um   your blood?

JR:  No.   I had a respected doctor do it for me in my apartment.

KC:  No, it's true Mr. Pool.  I heard Edgar Winter is down to like twenty five percent of the average humans blood.

TDP:  No shit.  No wonder you guys always looked like you're whacked out on drugs.  You're actually low on blood?

JR & KC:  No we did take a shit load of drugs.

TDP:  Now Joey is it true that your real name was Jeffrey Hyman?

JR:  All right you dicks.  I've heard every hyman joke you can possibly come up with.

KC:  He said hyman.

TDP:  Then he said come.

KC & TDP:  HHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAA

JR:  Let me know when you two have it out of your system.

KC:  All right Joey.  I'm good now.  So let me ask you is it true that when you were writing Blitzkrieg Bop you first wrote it as..."Hey ho let's go....they're forming in a straight line ......to my ............HYMAN!

TDP:  BBBBAAAAAHHHHAAAAAHHHHAAA.  Good one Kurt!  I thought that you were gonna be serious there for a second. 

JR:  Yeah real funny dimwits.  Let me ask you a question Kurt.  Did you work out when you were back on earth?

KC:  A little.

JR:  How about you're toes?  Build up your muscles in your toes did you?

KC:  Don't even go there girlfriend........

JR:  Cause you must of had pretty strong toe muscles to get all the way to that .........

KC:  That's it.  It's go time pale face.

TDP:  Fellas, can't we all just get along?

KC:  You're right Mr. Pool.

JR:  I'm sorry Kurt.

KC:  That's all right.  Wanna go spit on Torme?

JR:  Fuck yeah.

TDP:  One more question before you guys head out.  

JR:  Shoot.

KC:  Very funny.

JR:  Sorry I couldn't resist.

TDP:  What bands today do you think are carrying on what you guys started.

JR:  Mind if I handle this one Kurt?

KC:  Go ahead.

JR:  Well I'd have to say that if you consider the frustration that is expressed in lyrics today that all music has a great debt to pay to punk rock and rock and roll music in general and that there are several bands that are carrying on the great tradition...........

KC:   Blah blah blah............That Britney Spears has some fucking rack on her doesn't she.

JR:  I'll have to go with Kurt on this one.

TDP:  Rock on fellas.

JR & KC:  Oh yeah but Eminem SUCKS!