Alex Comfort

Today we would like to welcome to The Death Pool the GREAT, the STUPENDOUS, the INCREDIBLE, Mr. Alex Comfort!

TDP: Alex, Alex, Alex, Man it is great to have you here. First off Heaven, Hell or purgatory?

AC: Heaven. Seems the "Old Man" liked my work.

TDP: Dude, we here at The Death Pool would like to personally thank you for many years of.......shall we say, self gratifying pleasure.

AC: What do you mean?

TDP: Oh come on. The Joy Of Sex, was the single greatest book to spank to when we were all growing up.

AC: But it was intended to be an instructional book,

TDP: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Say what you gotta say but that book was the only thing that many of us had access to as children. I mean most of our folks didn't keep Hustler or Playboy around. That was unheard of. But The Joy Of Sex, that was "instructional", so our folks would keep it in the nightstand drawer. That and a Sears catalog. Man they had some good underwear models.

AC: Oh my God....

GOD: What?

TDP: You gotta watch what you say, dude. Not you Big Man.

GOD: Sorry.

AC: I meant that book as a tool for married folks. To help them enjoy a healthier and more fulfilling sex life.

TDP: Right......those descriptions...those drawings....man I'm getting hot and bothered just thinking about it.

AC: Stop that! Damn, I had no idea. You sick little monkeys. I mean Jesu...

TDP: Don't say it.

AC: Sorry.

TDP: Well anyway, thanks. Have you met any interesting folks since you've been up there?

AC: Sure, I'm like a king up here. I got more tail than JFK. Both of em. I mean Princess Di, Grace Kelly, Madonna...

TDP: She's not even dead?

AC: I know but she has connections. It's kind of complicated. Anyway they're all trying to get on my tip. They think I am like the booty master up here.

TDP: Well aren't you?

AC: Well no. I learned it all from my great grandmother.

TDP: Dude, that's fucked up.

AC: It's not what you think. She passed along all her knowledge to me in a purely platonic manner. Sat me down and taught me the ways of the woman's private parts.

TDP: Whoa. That's still kinda sick.

AC: Yeah but it made me a very wealthy man. I did have to go through several years of intense psycho therapy but after that it was cool.

TDP: So Mr. Comfort, that's such a cool name......what was your favorite sexual position. Or even better let's get a top five from you. You know by responses you got from folks.

AC: Well let's see...#5. "Doggie Style"

TDP: A fine choice.

AC: #4. "Missionary"

TDP: Kind of boring but always nice in a pinch.

AC: #3. "69"

TDP: Now you're talking my language. Mind if I loosen my trousers?

AC: Cut that shit out or I'm gonna stop right there.

TDP: Sorry dude, I was only busting your balls.

AC: #2. "Woman Astride", my personal favorite.

TDP: You dog!

AC: And number 1 around the globe had to be "The Venus Flytrap" or as I like to call it, "The squeeze Box".

TDP: Alex, you are the man. Well good luck up there and hey at least you don't have to worry about wearing a condom anymore.

AC: Watch out!