Princess Di
In response to last weeks guest Mother Teresa, we have had a request for a rebuttal by none other than Princess Dianna. So without further delay may we present Lady Di.
TDP: Lady D, welcome to The Death Pool.
LD: Thank you so much for having me on. I miss you all and thank you for the flowers. To my beloved countrymen I want to say thank you for your outpouring of love and please get the hell off the grass your killing it you ignorant peasants.
TDP: We understand that you would like to respond to what Mother Teresa said about you in our last interview.
LD: That is correct. I understand that "the whore" as I will refer to her in these discussions has been complaining that she got no respect from the folks on earth. Well I would hope to make her aware that humility, as I hope that I have always displayed ,can get you very far in life as in death. "The whore" doesn't seem to comprehend that. As most of the people on the dole can understand, she wants something for nothing. You gotta get out there and show a little ass baby. Shake your tits around.
TDP: Well D. do you feel that her allegations are misplaced?
LD: I don't give a shit what "the whore" alleges. It is true that Elton did write a song for me but Elton baby, couldn't you have come up with something new? I mean damn, take ten minutes and pen a new ditty you lazy bastard. As for "the whore" if I see her again I'm gonna bitch slap that little penguin. I dedicated my whole life for England and I'm not going to let "The Virgin Connie Swail" come up here and bad mouth me to the rest of creation. If she got no respect then it's her own fault. She should have had a little more face time on T.V. I mean get out there mingle. She never got that. I have always pictured myself as being one of the commoners but she thinks she is better than everyone else.
TDP: Why is there so much tension between you two?
LD: Well I didn't want to have to go into this but we are no longer on earth and I feel that the story can be told. "The whore" and I had been for quite some time on earth.......well.......an item.
TDP: Are you telling us that you and Mother Teresa were lovers?
LD: I am.
TDP: Well this is quite a shock.
LD: I don't see why. I mean she does have quite an exquisite ass. She can turn me on with just the bat of an eye. I have always loved the way a woman looks when she is toiling over a helpless child. Her elbows deep in muck and her heaving breasts....
TDP: O.K. O.K. I think we get the picture. But do you still have feelings for her now that this rift has raised its ugly head.
LD: Well I certainly wouldn't want this to get back to her but I do still love her so and I was hoping that her and I could get together with Frank Sinatra and hot damn we could set this home for geriatrics ablazin. I must go now I feel a little anxious and Princess Grace is off to the sauna. MMMMMMMMM. Gotta see that
TDP: Take care.
LD: Word!
Well there you have it. Goodbye until our next guest makes their entrance.
