William H. Masters

      Today we are greatly pleased to have the incredible, incomparable, the stupendous, "The Master", William H Masters.   William was the founder of the Masters and Johnson Institute.  The famed sex research institute in St. Louis.  Without further ado we give you The Death Pool interview.

TDP:  William, god damn are we glad to get to talk to you.  

WM:  Well thank you so much I am honored to be here as well.

TDP:  Do you mind if I call you Sex Master?

WM:  Well that would be a bit.......

TDP:  It's settled then,  we are here with the Sex Master.

SM:  I really would appreciate it if you would call me William or Dr. Masters.

TDP:  So tell us something Sex Master, is it true that you got people to willingly have sex in front of you?

SM:  That is true.

TDP: .........Blub blubb   blubbb blubbb.

SM:  Are you weeping?

TDP:  Yes I am.

SM:  Why?

TDP:  I am just in such awe of you right now!  To be in your presence makes me feel like such a small being.

SM:  It's really not that big a deal.

TDP:  NOT THAT BIG A DEAL!  You got people to willingly have sex in front of you.  I mean you weren't standing in a booth.  Nobody was waiting outside with a mop after you were done. I mean that is simply incredible.  I bet they even came to you.  You didn't have to drive to their place or pull in an alley or nothin.

SM:  That is true.  They came to my institute.

TDP:  You said came.

SM:  Do you have any questions for me?

TDP:  So take us through it.  Did you have to get them liquored up or punch them in the stomach beforehand or anything.

SM:  I should think not.

TDP:  I know what it was.  Barry White.  Am I right?

SM:  What?

TDP:  I heard that always gets the ladies in the mood.  A little Barry White.  Makes em soil their panties.

SM:  These were serious studies.

TDP:  Oh I see.  O.k. so did they do stuff like......... alone if you know what I mean?

SM:  Yes we had to study the strength of the female orgasm and in order to do that we did have women masturbate.

TDP:  YYYYAAAADDDAAAA  DDAADDDAAA DDEEEE!  Man you are The Master.  I bet you have seen more tail than Hugh Hefner.

SM:  Quite possibly but once again may I reiterate that this was serious research.  It took me a long time to get established medicine to take me seriously.

TDP:  So when you've got em doing the single sex love and there......um how can I put it.....can we call it a kitty?

SM:  Are you speaking of the Vagina?

TDP:  Yeah.

SM:  I would appreciate it if you would call it a vagina.

TDP:  How about love muffin?

SM: Vagina.

TDP:  Snatch?

SM:  Vagina!

TDP:  Twat, mound, puff, chi chi, hump house, cooter?

SM:  Vagina!!!

TDP:  Whatever you say Master.  So their doing the love dance alone and you tested how strong it was?

SM:  That's true.

TDP:  And you were married this whole time?

SM:  That's correct.  My wife was my partner in most of my research.

TDP:  Hold up a minute.  Your wife was in the mix on these juice sessions?

SM:  That is correct.

TDP:  That's it. You are hands down the SEX MASTER.  Alex Comfort doesn't have shit on you.  You are the real deal.

SM:  Damn skippy.

TDP:  How did you ever convince the old lady to go along with this?

SM:  I told her that these were serious sex studies.

TDP:  And you and I know better don't we?

SM:  All right I can admit it no that I'm dead that I did enjoy my work.

TDP:  Damn right you enjoyed it.  Last question Master,   did you videotape any of these sessions and can you hook me up?

SM:  Well yes I did videotape most of them and after the interview I'll give you a map to an old field in St. Louis.

TDP:  Blluubb   bbluubbb bbbllluuubb.

SM:  Are you weeping again?

TDP:  You were a beautiful man.

SM:  I get that a lot.

Well there you have it. Goodbye until our next guest makes their entrance.