Byron de la Beckwith

Today we would like to welcome to The Death Pool Byron de la Beckwith.  All right now out there we can here you yelling at us already but believe me you have to try and discover how these idiots are formed so that you can squash them earlier on in life.

TDP: Mr. Beckwith thank you for joining us here on The Death Pool.

BB:  Well, thank you for having me here son.

TDP:  Let me take a stab in the dark and guess that you are not in Heaven.

BB:  You would be correct in that assumption.  I am indeed in Hell.  

TDP:  Well you can finally come clean Byron.  Did you in fact kill Medgar Evers?

BB:  I most certainly did!

TDP:  O.k.  boys you can come on in.

BB:  Now what the hell is going on here?  I just came in here for a little interview.......oh no.....

TDP:  That's right Byron.  Say hello to Malcolm X.,  Medgar Evars, Martin Luther King and Doug Henning.....What the hell are you doing here Henning?

DH:  I'm just here to see how Byron tries to disappear from this one.

TDP:  Fair enough.  Now Byron we are going to play a little game called "What's Wrong With This Picture?".

BB:  I'm not sure I'm quite familiar with that game.

TDP:  Tell him Medgar.

ME:  Well you see we're gonna show you a number of pictures and you just tell us what's wrong with the picture.

BB:  Well what happens if I get it wrong?

TDP:  They get to kick you in the balls, o.k. on with the game.

BB:  I don't quite think I heard that last part there.

TDP:  First picture is of a lynching.  Now Byron what's wrong with this picture?

BB:  Well you see they're using a knot that is much too loose there.........OOOWWWWW....FFUUUCCCCKK.  

TDP:  Nice shot there Malcolm.

MX:  Thank you.

TDP:  Incorrect Byron.  The answer is ......you shouldn't hang people.   Next picture is of Martin Luther King after he was shot. Now what's wrong with this picture?

BB:  Well.............is there a scratch on it?   YYYYYYYIIIIIIKKKKKEEEEESSSSS.

TDP:  Wrong again Byron.  The correct answer is you shouldn't kill people!  Nice form there Martin.

MLK:  Thanks.

TDP:  The next picture.....

BB:  I don't think I like this game.  I didn't agree to this.

TDP:  Oh well that's o.k..  You see we've made arrangements with the Devil for this game.  As a matter of fact there he is over there in the easy chair.   How's it hangin devil?

D:  A little to the left, Mr. Pool.

TDP:  Oh you're a hoot.  Thanks for letting us have our little game.

D:  Oh, no problem.  I was starting to run out of ideas anyway.

TDP:  On with the game.  Byron this is a picture of some slaves picking cotton.  What's wrong with this picture?

BB:  Umm........let's see.........I think I can get this one....

TDP:  Take your time.

BB:  I got it.  They are starting from the top of the cotton plant and not the .....WWWHHHIIIFFFF.

TDP:  What was that?

MX:  I missed.

TDP:  Now Malcolm you have to keep in mind that Byron was pretty damn old when he died so his balls are probably around his knees.

BB:  OOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW

MX:  Got him that time.

TDP:  Good shot. The correct answer Byron was that slavery was evil.   Shall we try another?

BB:  I don't think so.  Do I get something if I get it right.

TDP:  Well let's see.  We hadn't quite thought of that.  We all figured that you were too much of an idiot to get any of them right.  Hmmmm... any ideas fellas?

ME:  How about if he gets it right we won't kick him as hard?

TDP:  Sounds good to me.  Devil, any complaints?

D:  Have at it.  You guys are killin me.

TDP:  This is a picture of a black man and a white woman holding their baby while being yelled at by many idiot racists much like yourself, Byron.  What's wrong with this picture?

BB:  I'm gonna get this one I swear.  I do know right from wrong......o.k......the lighting is good.......there's no scratches on the picture.......it's not crimped or bent in any fashion.........wait a minute......these people are yelling at this couple..........he is black and she's white...........but I sure don't wanna get kicked in the balls again.................I  GOT   IT!!!!....they shouldn't be yelling at these folks????????....OOOOOWWWWWWWWWW

TDP:  What was that?

ME:  Henning just nailed him in the balls.

TDP:  Henning he finally got it right. Why did you kick him in the balls?

DH:  Sorry it was just a reflex.

TDP:  That's o.k.  Well the devil has agreed to let you fellas keep playing for as long as you like but we have to run.  Thank you all and Byron maybe you'll learn a little something.

BB: Huh?

Well there you have it. Goodbye until our next guest makes their entrance.